Tuesday, February 19, 2013


shopping - noun

1. the act of a person who shops.
2. the facilities or merchandise available to those who shop        

My mum is in England, and we're enjoying London. Good food, nice hotel, musical tonight. Today, we've been shopping, and the following facts have become obvious to me:

a) I can only go into so many stores, before the next one needs to be a book store. 
If I ignore this simple rule, I get tired. Then I get grumpy. And to cheer myself up, I start making flash-faces at people, (make a face real quick, go back to normal and then pretend like nothing happened), just to see how they'll react. When that loses its charm, no... who are we kidding, that never loses its charm. But when I'm too tired and annoyed to care about charm, I start singing out loud, and when that isn't good enough I go absolutely quiet until I'm fed, hugged or brought to a book store.

b) Politeness is a dying art form and shoppers are horrible people.
It is my theory that shoppers must all be using shopping as a way to escape the bad conscience that inveterately follows from being such a horrible person, which most shoppers are. Vicious..no... evil circle right there.

c) Handbags and shoes seem to have the ability to intoxicate some people.

d) I don't care that much about handbags or shoes. 
I tried on a pair of shoes. They didn't fit. The lovely lady in the store checked to see if they had that pair in my size, and when she couldn't produce them she seemed to expect a slap, or that I would break down in tears, or at least yell a little, but I was like "They're only shoes," and she was like "I don't follow," and I shrugged and looked for a book store, but I couldn't find any for a very long time, because there were only shoes and bags and clothes everywhere.

e) I hate shopping

In other news, I'm seeing Wicked for the first time tonight. Will be awesomelicious! 

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