Saturday, March 2, 2013

Grimace (I am woman, hear me roar)

grimace - noun, verb

1. a facial expression, often ugly or contorted, that indicates disapproval, pain, etc    
2. to make grimaces.

I am mostly annoyingly positive. That kind of positive that people choke on, because they want to be angry about whateveritwas, and they want to bitch about it, without hearing "she-was-probably-just-trying-to..." And I get that. The rage faces I have managed to summon, in being rational in meeting with other people's anger and annoyance, could fill a book, and it would be a scary book. A book of rage. I try to get better. I've now learned the survival mechanism called "nod and agree," it works like a charm, but I keep forgetting (mostly because I know I'm right, she WAS probably just trying to...).

However, in the interest of being fair. In the interest of sharing. Here is a list of things that makes me irrationally annoyed, angry, and no matter how much I try to see the other side of the argument, it only ever makes it worse.

In short this post will present the things that can make this transformation  occur.
Notice how even my hair bow gets angry when I'm angry. THAT my friends, is commitment. 

1. People who do anything but watch the movie, at the movies (click this, it is a link)
I've written a separate post about this. It splits my personality, 'nough said.

2. People who say "calm down" when I don't feel uncalm
It gives me an immediate Hulk-reaction. My face contorts, my heart races, and I feel like digging into the jugular vein of the person saying it. I do have a, let's say, a charmingly lively personality, but I'm (mostly) not bouncing around, screaming, waving my hands in people's faces, being high pitched, aggressive or yelly-shouty-naggy. I'm just happy, and I love discussions, and I can be awfully clear if I think something's not right. If I ever go all she-hulk on someone's ass, being told to calm down in any of these situations, will be the thing to make it happen. A friendly warning, so to speak.

3. Rice
I hate rice. Not to eat, but to boil. I cannot for the life of me get the cooking right. I'm a fairly decent cook in other aspects. I can magic up quite impressive dishes, but I cannot for love nor money, with all the help, instructions or guidance in the world, boil rice. Now, let's get one thing clear right from the start, I am able to do the student-cooking of rice. I can fill a pot with water, add rice, and then drain it when it's done. No problem. People who say "I can cook rice" and then do the student cooking, should probably be on this list.

I am talking about that thing, where you add the right amount of water, boil over perfect heat, and end up with this light, fluffy, perfectly cooked rice, that's not burned or sticky, just perfect and delicious. I keep trying, however, and it always ends in all sorts of aggressive behaviour, rice covered walls and unpleasant sounds.

4. Women who backtalk other women, for doing the exact same thing they're doing themselves
I don't think this needs any explanation. Pure aggression. I think everyone should live by the Bambi-esque motto: If you can't find anything nice to say, you might  be evil.

5. People who think socialist is a swearword
It's not.

6. Lord Voldemort

7. My own complete lack of structure 
I am such a messy, unstructured, unfocused person and it annoys beyond belief. I occasionally have serious talks with myself where I go "you need to tidy your room and make a study plan for the week!" and I am all sulky and go "yes, yes, yes, I know, I know, I'll do it right away," and then I go on Twitter for an hour, and then I play some Skyrim, and my brain goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US?" and I'm like "relax, I'm just having a break, I'll do it later," but then I don't, and the next day we go through it all again, until someone calls and goes "can I come over?" and I'm like "erh, in an hour" and then tidy and clean and fix like crazy.

8. People who list things that annoy them.

I showed you mine, now show me yours?


  1. I'm with you -- I believe the glass is not only half FULL, it's full of yummy goodness! So when I hang out with someone who is a "glass half EMPTY" type of person, I'm ALWAYS saying things like "well, maybe she was just trying to..." but generally they don't appreciate it. They want me to nod and agree with them! So THAT would be on my list of annoying things. --Darcy at

    1. Yes! People need to learn to recognize the yummy goodness of their half filled glass, that's the route to awesome <3