Dream

Dream  noun, verb,  adjective 1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passingthrough the mind during sleep. 5. a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie. 6. an aspiration; goal; aim 7. a wild or vain fancy. 9. to have a dream. 13. to imagine as if in a dream; fancy; suppose. 16. dream up, to form in the imagination; devise

Today I have completed my 26th year on this planet, and move into my 27th. True to my own traditions, I had a really weird dream tonight. It's just one of those things that happen every year, my head seems to process the status quo; where am I, what am I doing, should I be making changes, and so on and so forth. This dream was really no exception, however, it was significantly different form earlier "editions".

Everything I did in the entire dream was walking up and down a beach thinking "What should be my dream? where should I be going?What can this be used for?"

In a way I totally get why. I've always been a dreamer, looking for new plans and projects I can focus on and love. I've had high ambitions, always wanted to be more, go further and reach new goals. All of that has slowly changed over the last 6 months. I do not want to dream of doing anything else. I am completely in love with what I'm doing. I love to go to university every day, study language, learn new things. I love spending insane amounts of money on books about linguistics, phonology and words. (Without really needing them for school.) So, why not a dream about taking this further?

Because I can see no future down this road. No matter how many years of studying language, no matter how many interesting books and papers I read and write, I doubt there is room for me in academics. And what else does this road lead to?

 So, for now, I do not dream. I just enjoy. And maybe one day I will find a new dream, something to aim my energy towards. Hopefully everything I do now will be relevant, but if not, at least I will have been living my dream.